Last year it was the Stanley Cup Finals with my brother and our dad. This year we bought him NBA Finals tickets for his birthday/father’s day. I have never been a Laker fan, I’m simply a Clipper and Maverick fan. yeah yeah they are loser I know. My years growing in up was tough being a loyal Laker hater, I cheered for the Celtics and Pistons back in the day. I had to deal with Laker Nation in all my schools. And then it happened, two of the most disliked NBA people in my world joined the Lakers. Phil Jackson and Shaquille O’Neal. Jackson I feel is way over rated and Shaq well I think is the very unprofessional but is … was an amazing center. Anyways, they ruined my years of three straight titles, the Shaq left. I always liked Kobe, minus Colorado. Now my wish was Phil needed to step off and I could convert. I was already ready to switch … it wasn’t yahweh, not jesus, or Mohamed nor buddha I was converting to .. it would be the Buss compound and the Lakers. But Phil came back and my conversion never came to fruition.

But this year they made the finals and who could pass on an opportunity to buy their dad, a GIANT Laker homer, tickets. My bro and I did just that. Neither a Laker fan by the way. The few issues I have with the Laker Nation later of course would come to the forefront. But I was damn sure to root for them in hopes of making my dad happy and seeing a longer Finals series. There were a good amount of Celtic fans who got booed everywhere they walked.

Inside it was cool with a interesting buzz in the air. I turned to my brother and said that we might witness history tonight. I predicted Kobe will score over 50 but Celtics would win. Around us we had an even amount of Celtic and Laker fans.

The opening ceremony was amazing with some crazy projection on a giant canvas hanging from the scoreboard. It was very very impressive, see the clips below.

To the right a few sections down there was a band playing. Just in front of them was a row or two of fans. What a stupid design of seating. Those poor fans. Behind us sat a kid with his family: REASON #1 for my Laker dislike … the entire night he yelled, “give it to Kobe he will make it happen!” then would yell at every Laker foul call. Towards the end of the collapse, he had his head inside the jersey. Lakers were killing the Celtics in the first half, up by 24 points at one point. To me this was bullshit, we spent a lot of money to watch this? I hoped for a bit of a comeback but what followed later was the history I mentioned earlier.

While in line to get some drinks, some chick asks me if I was Ivan. Because she saw it on my hat. Yeah I was, what’s up. She was like hey I remeber you from the last Laker game, trying to be funny. I replied with, “not me I don’t like the Lakers” I am Ivan bitch! Check out the site and contact me and just maybe we can work together Yeah I wore my Luc Robitaille yellow and purple jersey and had half a dozen comments on it. Yup I am sports whore and those sportnuts love me How gay!

At halftime there was this amazing performance from a bucket drummer that got a standing ovation upon his completion.

What was interesting is how those dang Laker girls dress and how loud the music is. They come out over dressed and blast the music as the teams try to organize a game plan. Those overdressed dancers don’t even get a clap or two. Lame, and REASON #2. At one point they had this “kiss cam” on the big screen. They cut to a couple in the crowd to cute music and they kiss. The last couple was Will Smith and Jada Pinkett who put on a fun show for the fans (CLIP BELOW)

As the Celtics got closer, the fans began booing and openly criticizing the players and coach. Phil Jacknot kept his hot shooters on the bench as the lead grew smaller. By the time he let them back in the game it was too late to recover from the momentum switch. Phil is my REASON #4, he can go beg for more Michaels, Scotties, Kobes and Shaqs to gift wrap him titles. And it typical fashion the fans still danced when the camera pointed at them no matter that at this point it seemed as the Celtics had everything going their way. Another REASON #5. At the end before the game was decided Laker “fans” ran out like cockroaches with only a hand full of loyal ones sticking around. Yup that’s #6 On the way to the car I saw girls running around waving their free Laker car flags giggling and laughing. Didn’t the Lakers lose, I’ll won’t even add that to the list.

But besides it being a Laker game. I did cheer for them, I did hope they win and I still hope they win the title. It’s not about me and my dislikes, it’s about me and my love for our dad. He is a Laker fan and that’s what makes him happy and no matter what him happy means more to me then my teams winning or losing. I wished the Lakers won but at least my brother, our dad and I spent some more quality time together while sharing life lasting memories. Go Lakers because my dad says so.

VIDEO CLIPS ……

**** Will Smith kissing Jada ****

**** Laker introduction ****

**** Celtic introduction ****

**** Jordan Farmar buzzer beater ****

Urban Spice Awards and my drunk ass.

I figured I mind as well get this blog done before I lose all control of my sleep deprived body and head. I’m going on about 4 hours of sleep and still woozy, so here we go. Yesterday we planned on going to the Urban Spice Awards as a team. Representing is something we really believe in doing. We are a team in and out of the office. And always try to come in numbers just out of respect for the event, the teammate nominated and of course Anabolic. On this night Tony was nominated for some awards, we figured he had little chance to win but fuck his movies deserve not just praise but some gold or silver or whatever those dang trophies are made of.

The team was set:
Jesse J and his girl, Robert and his girl, Tony picking up his girl, me and no girl (but plenty of character son), Dan, Su and her man plus Tre one of the coolest dudes I have met in porn. I planned on having a lot of fun and getting drunk. I haven’t drank in over a year and haven’t been drunk in probably over 20 years. And in total have drank probably 4 times in my entire 4 decades of living. I was like FUCK IT, I work seven days a week … give me my bling, my colors, and let loose son.

(driving to food / lil Ivan / Urban Spice Awards / my video team / Jesse is he)

While Tony got his date, we went to dinner. Upon sitting down in this “fancy” restaurant we realized it was French. Yup we sure did get up and walk out. Had some Argentinean grub and headed for the red carpet. We were all Anabolic strong now. I tell you the people we saw and the night was better then any porn event I have EVER attended. Everyone was so cool and everyone genuinely seemed happy to see each other. That made it easy for me to yell at my friends to feed me drinks. Back to the red carpet. A limo pulled up and it was like a freakin one of those clown cars, as girl after girl piled out. Justin Long and Lee Bang came out as well. They were like the pimps of the night with an entourage of boobs, and ass. I like Justin Long, he calls me Slava which is cool. I am Ivan but fuck Slava is me. Anyways on the red carpet all I heard was “Slava!!!” from Justin. until we were inside

(Jesse and me / Tony, Jesse, & me / Lee Bang & Jesse / Jesse & his girl / paparazzi / the crew)

(MySpace! /Best crew in town / Nice hair doood! / the power players / Jesse’s girl! /

Then came up Sasha Grey. I have known her from almost beginning of her career as we shot her third scene at Evolution. Every time I write about her I have to mention how smart this girl really is. Oh and so dang cute. We talked about her recent horror film and just shot the shit. She is one girl you can talk to about almost anything and have a great conversation. We got some great pictures on the red carpet then filed in. I was ready and in character. Justin Long quickly got me a Long Island something which tasted like crap. There were so many people there. All I hoped was this will not turn into The Source Awards, but everyone just seemed to be happy and having fun. Then the show started with Tommy Gunn music video. At this point I was a bit buzzed, so I kept yelling, “isn’t he white!!!”

(me & my date, Sasha Grey /my paparazzi / baby blue vs. pink GANG WAR / inside / inside again)

At some point I met a filmmaker turned pornographer who was nominated for a Girl/Girl thing. Sometimes it gets really flattering when you get approached by people who like and respect your work. This meant a lot because he has the same background as me. We chatted for a while and moved on, Tee Real also made me smile as he complimented me on my work as well as Juan Cuba. Juan is freaking awesome.  I was like jeez people watch my stuff and like it? That’s cool and that’s what keeps the drive going when the days get long. BTW, being tipsy still, typing this and listening to Air Supply is a bit awkward. But enough for male bonding, wait I got more. Rico Strong who wears I assume real bling said my shit was too loud. I call that a compliment coming from him. I like that big bastard. At one point in the night Brian Pumper was standing next to me eyeing my rope chain. The glazed look in his eyes confused me, was he jealous, angry that I was biting his style or wondering where I got my stuff. Last time I talked to Pumper he asked me if I had dick control. He might be the most entertaining man in porn, bar none. Love that guy.

(big boobies & Dan / Get Ivan more booze! / yeah that’s hot / Rico Strong / The Rico & The Ivan)

(Jon Jon trying to jack my bling! / me & Justin Long / Jesse is weird / Ivan & Lee Bang / too close!!!!!!!)

We sat in the back near the exit. You just never know when escape was necessary. Actually we decided to sit back there away from all the loudness. I still managed my few yells and bad jokes. Elena Heiress came with one her hot friends. She is amazingly pretty and cool. After our Sweet Cheeks shoot her and I have bonded and became pretty good friends. She is one of those girls when I talk to I have to try really hard to make eye contact. Those boobs on her are beyond eye candy. She was all over her friend then recruited Jesse’s girl into some way way sexy three girl fun. Fucking Jesse sat in the chair as all three chickies landed on him. Half the night I talked to some red-headed big boobed girl I think named Skyler, maybe, not sure. Anyways, earlier in the day I was checking my e-mail on my phone and had naked pictures of her sent to me by her agent. So I was like wait, isn’t that you and your boobs? At this point I was a bit out of it and couldn’t really stand up. When Rico came by one more time, I think I said something weird to him with words, “you people” or “you guys” our sales guy was like holy shit Slava. But Rico knows me, fuck yo I’m cool, I think. A bit drunk and stupid but love that dude. Plus he was commenting on my loudness and I wanted to let him know I was down for the cause, whatever it might be. I even yelled at the white security guard, “that’s the man, dammit!”

(Elena Heiress and me / Dasha, Elena, Elena’s friend / Craziness / Elena / yum / craziness part 2)

(Watch it buddy! / zzzzzzzz / huh? / what? / where? / when? /

On the way out the club I spotted 2 girls that I was hoping to see. It’s funny but people who have read my blog for years, know that Tony and I have this “wifey” category for ourselves. I think he is up to 12 or 13 and I am still in the single digits. “Wifey” for us are girls we find either exactly what we are looking for physically, mentally or combination of both. My short list is up I think to Wifey #6. And at this point the two I remember are Ryder Skye and Maria Bellucci. And the new two wifey types were in the same room within my reach. Yup an overload of wifeyism! First came up to me Cassidy Clay who from the time we shot her I have thought was one of the hottest girls ever in the world of the all worlds. Wait, maybe not that crazy but pretty close. If I was an Alien coming down to earth, she would be on my list of abductions. We briefly spoke and took a picture.

Cassidy Clay

Then walked up my friend Shyla Haze. Again a “wifey” type and so hot. Plus the fact she loves horror movies puts her above everyone except maybe Jessica Alba and Alyssa Milano. Shyla, I met on Tony’s shoot a few months back. We hung out couple of times and watched some scary movies. She just got back to town and was looking really hot. She has a bunch of different looks and they are all, well yeah very very perfect. We briefly talked since many guys just wanted to take pictures with her. Plus I was wasted and might say something dumb like hey, “you want my bling instead of a ring?”

Me & Shyla Haze

QUICK DISCLAIMER … “wifey” is not necessarily a girl we want to marry but do believe is a woman who fits together perfectly for us like a sexy-fun Ms. Potato Head

As we were leaving Dan commented on a hot chick at the front desk. So I proceed to yell out, “Dan you like Trannies?” She was very Tranny looking, very tranny looking. Eh to each his own. He believes she wasn’t, yeah whatever .. weirdo! The night was great, so many cool people and a lot of fun. We represented in a very professional way except maybe for me and we bonded a bit more as a company. That’s what this was all about. As Rico Strong said and yelled out last night …. “ANABOLIC BITCH!”

Today we had a brief little visit to Erotica LA where I ran into some old friends I haven’t seen in a while.  And some people that actually gave me a bit of a rejuvenation on my work. We will be back tomorrow morning.  Anyways … tomorrow night we got big plans for the Urban Spice Awards.

Team Anabolic is rolling deep.

Tony T with his surprise new LOOK and surprise date
Dan M. our sales guy extraordinare with his date
Our boss and co-director Su and her guy
Jesse J (our music and PR) with his entourage
Dana DeArmond and me

And just wait and see what I will be sporting tomorrow night.  And just maybe the after party will be interesting enough for me to get drunk for only the third time in my 38 years.

I might seem like superman, a tough rugged handsome tough Russian bear BUT yes the Ivan has a few fears.  My friends joke about them and often try to freak me out.  I have five major fears that will either make me hurl, pass out or yell like a little girl.  In no particular order I am afraid of cockroaches, spiders, semen, wieners (cocks), and  onions.  The cockroaches and spiders make me scream like a little girl, onions will make me throw up, while semen and wieners will make me pass out if get too close.  Out of those five frightening-scary-horrific things, I have encountered three recently.  A month ago, Cara Dee decided to smear some jizz on my cheek … and I didn’t pass out.  A few days back while having breakfast with a friend I bit into and ate an onion. And guess what.  I didn’t puke, it was weird and crunchy but okay. I did freak out a bit as my jaw drop in horror and my heart began to patter somewhat faster.  My friend laughed but to me this was pretty scary but again I was okay.  It was funny that I was still okay without losing a limb or going blind or dieing.  So this morning while in the shower, I spotted a spider. Looking back on a few days of me becoming a grown boy … instead of flushing him down the drain  I stuck my hand out and let him crawl on me.  Again, no lose of limbs, no blindness, no puking or crying like a little girl.  It was a different feeling becoming more manly or at least less girly.

Now out of 5 fears, 3 have been challenged and conquered.  Two are left and both are beyond scary.  The scariest maybe.  I think one might be okay to conquer, not sure about the other one though.  But which one am I more frightened of.  Only time will tell.

So we are going to the Urban Spice Awards as Team Anabolic this weekend. Have to represent as Tony T and his movies are nominated for a few categories. I got my pimp gear in check, got a new IAMIVAN hat and new white/bleached hair! Team Anabolic will represent. Now, I have an extra ticket and have asked a few girlies to escort us/me to the event. Haven’t heard back from them but if they don’t want to represent there might be an extra one for a hot girl to join Team Anabolic. or team IamIVAN.

Message my me or email me at iamivandotcom@gmail.com if you are interested.

First time I shot Kiki Vidis was for Anabolic Initiations #23 and shortly afterwards we became friends.  Write her name down because by the end of the year and yearly next year she will be a name in the business.  She is Australia’s number one dancer and pretty girl.  Now she is here to make it in the porn business.  She has spent a little of time with me hangin g out at the 70’s porn screening and at The Grove.  On this day I was shooting her for Bring ‘Um Young #28.  Even though #27 is still in the edit room, I wanted to make sure I got her in the series before it was too late.  The scene was her first ever BBG on and off camera. She explained to me how in her personal life she attempted a threesome with two dudes but they got very homophobic once naked.  Funny, what did they expect?  Before the scene, her entourage interviewed me which was kind of cool.  And she had nice few gifts for me that she had shipped over.  It was some delicious chocolates she mentioned to me about before.

The scene was solid.  As previously the girl jumped right into it.   It was none stop action as the guys through her around and carried the cute Aussie all over the set.  After the scene she had another toy added to her massive collection of Ivan stuffed animals.

Our dad’s birthday always falls a week before or after fathers day.  And it’s always a challenge trying to get him gifts.  Last year my brother and I wound up buying all of us three tickets to the Stanley Cup Finals game 5 between Anaheim Ducks and Ottawa Senators.  We saw the cup raised as the Ducks won in 5 games.  I am getting goose bumps right now just remembering the moment and how happy our dad was.  It was the best time we have ever spent with our dad.  Dang I still get choked up over right now as I type.  Anyways, we now did one better.  We got tickets to the NBA Finals Game #4 between Los Angeles Lakers and Boston Celtics.  The price is no matter when it comes to family and making someone happy who has dedicated his whole life to making sure his family is taking care of.

For years he and I have been at battle over the Lakers.  The old 80’s years of Lakers/Celtics battles I was a Celtic fan and he of course bleed Laker yellow.  I am now a somewhat Laker fan (minus Phil Jackson) and this is going to be awesome.

Last Years’ Stanley Cup blog:

http://www.iamivan.com/blog/?cat=63